My First Year as a Registered Nurse…
I chose nursing to focus on the anatomy and biology of the human body and how medicine applies to it. Although, there are three nurses in my family and I grew up hearing stories about their experiences, which inspired me so much…so I will tell you mine.
I have been a registered nurse for eight months now. That was my triumph – graduating from nursing school! I started in the medicine float pool, but I see myself working in critical care one-day. I took a critical care course during my undergraduate degree and did my final practicum in the emergency department, but I thought that medicine float pool would teach me how to embrace uncertainty- as I was always moving around at a moments notice from one floor to another- especially during Covid-19. My future mother in-law also worked as an intensive care nurse, and I was always so interested to hear stories about skills she had learned and I was intrigued by her knowledge base. I was also curious about being able to watch the science of medicine play out with critically ill patients- while having the honour of being trusted to take care of them. Also, I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie and critical care can be fast-paced and change in an instant requiring critical thinking, problem solving and efficiency.
Hailey talks about starting her nursing career during Covid-19
Starting my career during the height of the pandemic in November 2020, was very chaotic and stressful. My first job during Covid-19 was in the float pool and so I didn’t have a home unit, which resulted in so much extra stress from the unknown. I had no previous work experience on ANY of the units that I was being floated to. I had to learn very fast and adapt to being sent to other floors in the middle of my shifts, when I was still trying to get a handle on my organizational skills. Also, I didn’t really know anyone on any of the units, so I struggled with knowing who to go to, who to ask for help and sometimes I was on the receiving end of rude comments from more experienced staff when I would ask for help. My high stress levels aggravated my asthma and allergies so much that I would develop hives all over my face and entire body after work sometimes.
“Will I come out of the pandemic burnt out only 8 months into my career?”
One night my allergies and asthma got so bad that I took a trip by ambulance to the emergency department because I couldn’t breathe. I had facial swelling, lost my hearing, and almost fainted. The doctor said my symptoms were caused by two main factors: stress from the pandemic, combined with stress of a new job. Then in May, I was sent with other nurses in the resource pool to work in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) to help with nursing tasks. The intent of us going to work in ICU was to help relieve some of the workload pressures caused from the influx of Covid-19 positive patients. I found that I loved ICU, which isn’t surprising as critical care has always peaked my interest. During this time, most nurses in ICU were more than willing to accept my help and teach me about critical care nursing.
“I think starting my career during the pandemic quickly taught me to be resilient and has made me resourceful and adaptable, which I believe makes me a better nurse today.”
However, it has been quite stressful and isolating because nobody outside of nursing really understands what nurses are going through, and a lot of nurses are burnt out- so you almost feel guilty telling them about how you feel because they may feel even worse. It’s also extremely exhausting to see the impact that Covid-19 has had on communities, individuals and families. For instance, knowing some people were not recognizing how severe Covid-19 could be, so that they were taking risks with their own health and others, was so hard for me to understand. Meanwhile, nurses are going to work and risking their own health to take care of patients who were extremely vulnerable and who were Covid-19 positive. It was all so disheartening. Attempting to explain this to people who just did not care and weren’t listening to guidelines, also took a toll on myself and other nurses during the pandemic. My biggest fear was of the unknown. When will we get relief from COVID-19? Will the vaccines be given fast enough to slow the rate of infection? How much death will we witness? Will we run out of resources?
How do you take care of your mental and emotional health?
Honestly, I still don’t have a solid self-care plan. I currently just spend a lot of time with family and try to see friends when I’m not working. The more time I can spend outside the better. I’m getting married in the summer of 2023- so planning for that has been very exciting!
What have been your biggest learning experiences
Overall, my biggest learning experience was my realization of how highly skilled nurses are! I learned more about myself and how having support from family is so important. Working in ICU inspired me to consider a career as a critical care nurse. It also taught me how resilient medical and surgical nurses are, as the nurses in those units were redeployed and moved to entirely different work environments that were tremendously understaffed- meanwhile they continued to provide an exceptional standard of care. I also learned how hospitals in the region are all connected more than I first understood them to be, as patients were transferred from Toronto, and areas such as Moose factory.
When asked if compassion has been lost in healthcare, Hailey replied
I think that compassion for healthcare workers has been lost by some, when we experience abusive comments from other healthcare workers. Or when patients or their families are frustrated and take it out on staff. However, in some healthcare sectors, I have witnessed others not being so compassionate towards their patients or exhibiting some signs of burnout when interacting with or speaking about their patients. Mostly though nurses continue to demonstrate some levels of compassion towards their patients. I think we have also lost self compassion for ourselves in that we act like work horses and then bottle up our emotions and put on an act that everything is okay.
Hailey talks about empathy and burnout
Empathy does and should be a part of each patient encounter because without it we would be less likely to see the ill and vulnerable patient in front of us and be more likely to focus on the negative aspects of some patient encounters. For example, a patient is yelling and becoming agitated, but with empathy we see that they could be having a pain crisis and we need to treat the cause of the agitation. Without empathy we see a combative patient that nobody wants to deal with. I have had shifts where I’ve only sat down for 18 minutes of a twelve-hour day to stuff my face and then get up and keep running – then I’ve gone home and been emotional – then back to do it again the next day feeling exhausted, stressed and dragging my feet. I’ve been irritable towards my loved ones because they “just don’t understand” the stress I am trying to explain to them, even though they are trying their best to be supportive. I have isolated myself from friends by not responding to texts, messages or phone calls on my days off because I just couldn’t find the energy. I’ve also had the odd shift where the thought “why am I doing this?” has gone through my head.
Hailey offers thoughts to nursing students…
I think I would tell a nursing student to focus on being adaptable, and that they need to have compassion. Adaptability is important when you are faced with so much illness and chaos both inside and outside of the workplace. Compassion is important, not only for patients who are sick and need someone who is whole-heartedly invested in providing care to them, but also for nurses who endure risks to their emotional health. Self compassion is important for being resilient because nurses, and especially nursing students, are incredibly hard on themselves. We need to remember that we are all human and we are trying our best for our patients and ourselves.
What are your hopes for the nursing profession in the future?
I hope nursing gets the recognition it deserves, especially for all that nurses have done to serve the public during the pandemic. I also hope that there is more compassion for nurses as human beings- the same compassion that we learn to give to our patients.
